In the week we all tweeted angry abuse at Jeremy Hunt for the 102032310035th time, and the Southern rail strikes wrought havoc on commuters, it wasn’t all doom and gloom. Sure we had thunderstorms, hail and snow (all within the space of an hour on Wednesday) but it takes more than that to get us Londoners down, right? We’re made of stellar stuff. We’re tough. But sometimes, even we need a little ‘pick-me-up’. We’ve got it for you right here in our Friday Digest – the weirdest, wackiest and of course most wonderful stories of this week. In chronological order:

Screen Shot 2016-04-28 at 16.47.34Monday

We’ve all dreamed of being a unicorn at some point or other, right? Or at least pretended to charge at someone like a rhino? But what would you actually do if you just suddenly grew a horn? Unfortunately, the poor sod this happened to is unable to comment, as he is a cow. On a farm in Uzbekistan, a young calf has grown a third horn out of the middle of his head. The farmer was worried that this extra horn would alienate him from the rest of the herd, but it turns out he has been using it to his advantage by politely butting and bullying other calves with it which for some reason the farmer thinks is a good thing, but hey ho. Anyway, he’s pretty freaky looking but we won’t judge (we will judge the grainy photo though – it is the 21st century after all.)

 

Screen Shot 2016-04-28 at 16.56.41Tuesday

You may have seen, read or heard about this elsewhere, but we thought it was too ridiculous not to include. Picture this. A small town – Ushaw Moor – right in the heart of county Durham. It’s a quiet April morning and you’re just leaving your house to head to work, when suddenly, you are ambushed by a shrieking peacock running towards you, mistaking you for a foxy little peahen to court during mating season. This is the struggle faced by residents of Ushaw Moor every Spring and they have finally had enough. During the Spring months, peacocks and peahens run amok in the streets, going wild because it is mating season. And now there is a petition going round to stop the peacocks. Whilst we appreciate what they’re trying to do, we’re not sure there is a UK Peacock regulatory body who will step in for this one. Sorry guys.

 

WednesdayScreen Shot 2016-04-28 at 17.01.44

If the internet can be broken, it can also be fixed beyond breaking again, and that is exactly what this little snippet of joy from Wednesday has done. In Kansas, some kind firefighters rescued a group of people trapped in a lift. Who were these people? They were officers of the Kansas Police department. This is literally every five year old’s dream in one picture. Firefighters and policemen helping each other out (well more on the part of the firemen) and being best friends. Good guys saving good guys from bad mechanics. What could be better?

 

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Thursday

So on Thursday something pretty horrific came to our attention. Something so terrible we’re not even sure how to react to it. Should we be openly disgusted? Should we mask our disgust with pretend acceptance? Should we just acknowledge and move on? We can’t seem to do any of the above. This summer, sandal-lovers (but bare-leg haters) can don a pair of nylon tan tights with PAINTED TOENAILS. The craze started in Japan (LITERALLY where else would it be?) and the tights come with individual slots for your toes – reminiscent of the scarring toe-sock pandemic of the early noughties – with each ‘nail’ painted a different colour. Will you be wearing them come June?

Friday

Hot off the press this morning! Drake has brought out his new album Views. We can’t wait for the music videos for all the tracks, because if it’s anything like Hotline Bling, we’re in for a treat…

Now go off and finish your Friday with a good old feel-good feeling and enjoy your three day weekend. Praise the banks and their holidays, right?

With lunch,
Eatupp